It’s your February Fourteenth Davey Mac Sports Report and one of the main interest stories of the Olympics, South American runner Oscar Pistorius who qualified for and ran in the games while missing two legs, has now turned to shit. Pistorius was arrested and charged with the murder of his very hot girlfriend, model Reeva Steenkamp. It’s a shame for the chick that Pistorius’ trigger finger was also amputated!! Booya!!
Audience: Hahahahaha!!!
Dave: Thank you! Thank you! I mean, they should give this guy a gold medal…in murdering women!! Blammo!
Audience: Hahahahaha!!!
Dave: I know, right?! It’s like, is this guy an Olympian…or a fucking assassin?!?!
Audience: Hahahahaha!!!
Dave: Thank you!! I’ll be here all week, you fucking assholes!! Screw off!!!!
Audience: ……………….
Sources in the Redskins camp are saying that Robert Griffin III could be back from his injury in time for the first game of the season. That’s good. The earlier RG3 comes back, the quicker he will get injured again by breaking his leg. Don’t get me wrong. I like Griffin…but he’s too small to be running around like a football-carrying road-runner to NOT get hurt. I fear for RG3. I also fear for anyone who makes a hat out of Twinkies and tells children to “eat his head.” Do you hear me, Uncle Randall?! You have to stop hanging around the park with that fucking Twinkie hat, you sick bastard!!! And don’t let me see you wearing a Ring Ding hat, EITHER, you son of a bitch!!
Duke came from behind to beat rival North Carolina last night- 73 to 68. I didn’t get to watch the game because it is Hollywood week on American Idol and the ladies were performing. Oh, who am I kidding…I was trying to save face just there and I lied to you. In fact, I watched the new Housewives of Beverly Hills. OK, ok, fine…I watched a marathon of Jerseylicious. I need help.
The Davey Mac Player of the Day goes to the Burger King for giving me two Whopper’s today…and a mild case of the shitties as a result. Fuck YOU, King!!
See you guys later! Listen to this week’s episode of the Davey Mac Sports Program (Valentine’s Day Special) on RiotCast.com/DaveyMac and/or iTunes!!! Adios!!
-Dave (2/14/3)