It’s your March Fifteenth Davey Mac Report and en lieu of my third favorite holiday of the year coming up, St. Patrick’s Day (only behind Christmas and Cumfest), we shall green this shit up today. You know why? Because I’m already half-drunk in preparing for St. Pat’s, THAT’S fucking why!! Now enough of the shenanigans and let’s get to it!!
* I think the greatest Irish athlete ever is Shaquille O’Neal. He’s what we call “black Irish”…or rather…”REALLY black Irish”…or rather…”REALLY FUCKING BLACK Irish”…
* On St. Patty’s Day, I often drink so much that eventually I wake up the next day with a U2 album cover stuck to my stomach. The adhesive that’s keeping The Joshua Tree glued to me? I’m afraid that it’s possibly jizz, my friends.
* The best type of treat for the occasion (besides beer, hard-grain alcohol, Irish marijuana, green pills, and Shamrock-soaked ether, of course) is Entenmann’s St. Patrick’s Day cupcakes. They taste incredible. Especially when you’ve found yourself with no pants on in a jail cell.
* My three traditions on St. Patty’s: 1.) watching the parade 2.) listening to the Pogues 3.) puking in my socks.
* I also enjoy watching the following on this wonderful day: State of Grace, and Dave’s Home-Made Drunken Jerkoff Porn. Two great and twisted Irish films!!
* I intend to wear a green sweatshirt if I can scrub the dried cum stain off it.
HAPPY ST. PATRICK’S DAY, homies!!
See you guys on Saturday on Sirius XM Satellite Radio for the Davey Mac Sports Program XL!! LIVE at 7 PM Eastern, 4 Pacific, on The Opie & Anthony Channel (Sirius 206/105)!! It’s a St. Patty’s Day Special!! Peace!!
-Dave (3/15/13)