It’s you February Twenty-Sixth Davey Mac Report and, quite frankly, I don’t have time for this shit!! I just don’t!! Don’t be upset with me!! But I can’t be sitting here in my own cum and piss, typing out my innermost thoughts (like the time I tried putting a Fruit Roll-Up in a frog’s ass) while I have to write SHITTY material for my first stand-up performance tonight in New York City at The Stand.
I’ll be performing at the RiotCast.com Night of Comedy (along with some of the people above) and I plan to KILL!! Myself!! After one of the worst sets in comedy history!! Expect no lack of sexist Star Wars jokes…in fact…expect ONLY sexist Star Wars jokes and plenty of lines that have NO punch to them!! But at least you can drink at the venue!! That’s a positive!!
Thus, I have no time to work on the greatest sports observations in the land (like, “I bet Pete Rose has a sausage cock”…and “I’d like to see Shaq squeeze a Kuala bear’s head until it explodes”…and “I bet Larry Bird farts a lot”…). And I have no time to write down my eloquent feelings about entertainment and politics (for example- “I wish John and Bobby Kennedy would come back to life and DP Rihanna”).
It’s time for me to get to workin’, dawg!! See ya later!!
-Dave (2/26/13)